Amidst all of the confusion and concern, however, here is where I have arrived over the past couple of years. Bluntly stated, in most situations, I believe that international adoption should be considered the last resort for children and parents alike. For someone who has now adopted two children internationally that might seem like a strange statement, but I believe it to be true. Without doubt, the best option for all children is that they are raised in their home land, by their biological parents. In a perfect world, this is what I believe God has intended. Failing this, however, I believe that the next best option is for children to be raised, in their homeland, by adoptive parents from their homeland - preferably adoptive parents from their own family line. It is best, I believe, for South African children to be raised by parents from South Africa. This enables children to retain connections to their roots, language and cultural ties - something which becomes increasingly important in shaping their identities as they grow older.

Here though is where the rub lies. While I might prefer the first and second option, the harsh reality of our world is that for literally millions of children it remains an unattainable reality. In many parts of the world, adoption of children is an economic burden that others cannot absorb. And still, in other parts of the world, cultural stigmas and superstitions war against the very idea of adoption. Sadly, the end result of both of these barriers, is the abandonment and institutionalization of millions of children. And this, I believe, is the heart breaking reason why international adoption, when handled legally and ethically, needs to retain a significant place in our world today.

Certainly we must fight and give to bring down economic barriers that might prohibit children staying within a family unit (it is one reason why Compassion and World Vision programs are so important). And certainly we must help parts of the world see adoption of their “own” as an important gift they can extend to the children of their country. But in the present absence of these being perfectly fulfilled, what choice are we left? Are we to not adopt because it is not the perfect solution? I think the answer is clear. Either we continue to value adoption or we license unnecessary scores of children to institutions, which no matter how wonderful, could never substitute the love of a parent.

You Have the Right...

In 1959, the United Nations adopted an article called the “Declaration of the Rights of a Child.” In article 6 of the “plain language” version, the wording states this frank promise to the children of the world:

You have the right to love and understanding, preferably from parents and family, but from the government where these cannot help.

The love and understand of a family, it is said, is an inalienable and even preferable right of the children of our world. Perhaps, in this statement more than any other, the charters of our world bodies got it right. Is this not also the heart of our Heavenly Father as he looks over the lost children of our world? Does his heart not also cry out, “You have the right! You have the right! This is the shalom I seek for you! You have the right to call someone ‘mommy and daddy’ and you have the right to hear those words - ‘my son, my daughter’. You have the right...”

Why do I write all this? To be certain, I make no aim to meddle in your families or in how you form them. Heaven knows that how we build our homes is an intensely personal decision that we make in concert with God. You don’t need me or anyone else pressuring you into decisions. But I suppose, to be totally honest, my underlining goal in this is to stand as an advocate for the voiceless orphans of our world and ask you to at least consider it as an option for your family as well. I ask us all to pray and seek the heart of the Father. Could it be that he intends for you, one that has been adopted by him, to extend this same right to a child in the world who might otherwise go without? If you ask him, I believe he will be faithful to tell you. And if he tells you yes, he will also be faithful to provide you with everything you need for the journey.

For the millions of children that go without their right fulfilled, I write today and ask you to simply pray. Just pray. Ask God to reveal his heart to you and let your heart be soft to his. If in the quietness of that moment, you sense that you might be called to step into the sacred role of being a mom or dad to someone who has neither, we’ll do everything we can to help you process that important decision.

Let love and understanding role on like a river. Let the justice of a family for every child be a gift that our world some day realizes. And may the gift be realized through the openness of people who know so wonderfully well the power of being adopted.